


I'm Not Sorry

by HanJisungStan



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Han Jisung | Han is a Sweetheart, M/M, Sad, Sad Lee Minho | Lee Know, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 08:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16970817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanJisungStan/pseuds/HanJisungStan
Summary: Minho and Jisung meet up as trainees, and realize that their bond is stronger than the other's for some reason....





	I'm Not Sorry

[Minho's P.O.V]

 

If you ask Jisung about how we started dating, he'd laugh in your face, sit down, tell you a three hour long story, and cry. But that's just because he's Jisung. If you asked me, I'd tell you it was a battle of acceptance, both self acceptance and acceptance of others, and the the terrifying idea of rejection.

We've been dating for a little over nine months. Nine months of love, happiness, teasing, and long hours of nothing but talking until falling asleep on each other. But before those nine months, we both spent time trying to understand our own feelings.

For me, it all started when we met. We were both trainees, and we were both in the hallway when Chan pulled us to the side.

"Hey" The aussie had said, "I have a really good idea, and I know this makes no sense, but I need you both to go in the meeting room upstairs." Chan smiled and we both stared at him, confused.

"Okay, will do." Jisung shrugged. I looked at him as he spoke, in awe. I had no idea that someone that small could host such an angelic voice. Chan pat us both on the shoulders, still smiling.

"Thanks fellas, this is certainly worth your time!" He cheered as he walked down the hallway more. Jisung and I looked at each other, confused.

"Where did he say we need to go?" I asked. I forgot what Chan had said due to the beautiful boy I was staring at. Jisung looked down the hallway, towards the stairs, and nodded.

"The upstairs meeting room, apparently." He answered. I nodded, not knowing what to say. We both stood there, looking at each other, not knowing what to say.

"Should we go now?" Jisung piped up. I nodded my head quickly.

"Yeah, sure." Jisung nodded once at my words and then began walking up the stairs, myself trailing behind him slightly.

We walked to the end of the hallway in thick silence, not knowing what to say to each other. At that time, I was busy thinking about who the kid was and why I was so interested by his face. Once, I asked Jisung what he was thinking about while we were walking and he told me he was "pondering how to get my number without scaring me off".

We had gotten up half the flight of stairs when I decided to break the silence. It was starting to get really akward for me, and I didn't like it.

"So... what's your name?" I quietly asked, not knowing if he'd be willing to talk.

"Oh, I never introduced myself, huh? Well, my name is Han Jisung, I'm 16, and I'm training to be a rapper." He slowed down his pace as he climbed up the stairs, allowing me to walk beside him.

"And you?" He asked me, looking into my eyes and smiling.

"Oh, Lee Minho, 18, and I'm training to be a dancer." I replied cooly. Jisung's face contorted into shock as we reached the top steps.

"Wait, like the Lee Minho who danced with BTS Lee Minho?" I rolled my eyes.

"So you've heard too?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed, "Every trainee here has heard. You're basically a legend." Jisung was very loud, all but screaming out who I was to the general public.

"I doubt that. All I did was dance behind them, it really wasn't much of anything." I mutter, attempting to brush it off. It's not like I didn't love the experience of dancing with them, it was just that's what people cared about me for. I was the trainee who danced with musical legends.

"Well, people certainly talk about you way more than they talk about me." Jisung sighed, "All I do is write rap with Chan." He laughed, a sort of dismal tone in the sound.

"Wait, you're the kid Chan raps with?" I asked in shock. When Chan and I would dance together, he would sometimes bring me a mix he had made with another rapper in it. The music was always good, and the lyrics were always great. Except, sometimes the other voice would get really deep, and it didn't feel like Jisung was the one doing it.

"Well, sort of." He laughed, "Chan and I work on music together, yes, but there's another trainee that we work with too. His name is Changbin and he's pretty chill." While I listened to Jisung, it all kind of clicked. I now understood the voice difference in the music.

"Oh, okay, that makes sense." I laughed with Jisung. We continued talking until we reached the door of the meeting room, which seemed to have a really loud meeting going on. In my head, either something really, really good was happening or we were about to walk into one of the worst meetings I'd ever been in.

We opened the door, and inside were five other boys, all laughing and having what seemed like a genuinely good time. Jisung looked at each other, smiled, and walked into the room. The boys all looked at us, and cheered.

"Hey, look! Chan sent more of us!" One dark haired boy yelled.

"Jisung?" One short dude said, suprised. Jisung laughed when he saw him.

"Changbin? Why are you here?" Jisung giggled. Changbin shrugged and smiled.

"Same reason you are, I guess. Chan pulled me out of our music lab and asked me to come up here. When I got in the room, only Hyunjin over there was here." Changbin pointed to the kid who welcomed us into the room.

"Huh. Did he do that with all of us?" Jisung had asked, looking at all the other boys in the room.

"Yeah, he sure did. I was in a vocal lesson and he pulled me out just to tell me to come up here." Another boy, who just so happened to be sitting beside Hyunjin, sqeaked out. His voice was kind of nasal.

"Weird." Jisung mumbled, walking to sit at the end of the table. Said table was rectangular and had ten chairs, four on both long sides and one on both short sides. Jisung and I sat in the last two chairs of the right side of the table. All eight chairs were filled on both sides of the rectangle except for one chair beside Changbin, and the two chairs on the skinny ends of the table. One of those chairs were probably for Chan.

Since we were alone in the room, we decided to get to know each other a little bit more. I was sitting beside Seungmin, the nasally voice boy, and to his right was Hyunjin, who was apparently training for dance as well. Across from Jisung sat a young kid named Jeongin, who was only 15. The seat beside him was empty. Changbin was across from Seungmin, and he gave himself the title of "most attractive" in the room, even though all of us dissagreed. Beside Changbin sat Woojin, the oldest person in the room at 19.

We sat together and laughed for what felt like hours, finding out little things about each other. For instance, Woojin had an unhealthy obsession with chicken. Changbin was apparently really rich. But I didn't listen to what they were saying as much as what someone else was saying. Jisung.

He called himself a squirrel because of how he eats, he likes singing, dancing, and rapping a lot, but rapping was his favorite out of the three. Jisung gets scared easily. Everything he said then is still true now.

We had just began talking- debating, really- about which fruit is the best when Chan stuck his head through the door.

"Knock knock" He sang, pulling the door wide open. Another boy, a blonde one, was standing beside him. His face was covered in freckles, and his cheeks were also red. Chan turned to him and said something to him in another language, English. The boy had nodded, and sat down in the seat beside Changbin.

"Alrighty fellas, that right there is Lee Felix, 16. He doesn't speak korean very well yet, as he just moved here all the way from Australia. Give him a hand, guys!" Chan cheered, clapping. We began clapping too, excited to try to talk to him.

"Anyways guys, I have to thank you all for coming up here, it means a lot." Chan paused, scanning our faces. "You're probably all wondering why I gathered you here, and the answer is simple. You're all here because I want to debut with you all in one group, all together."

Suprised looks adorned everyone at the table's faces. Everyone stayed quiet, but the questions we all had were clear. Why us? Why all together? How could we do this? Everyone knows that trainees don't make groups by themselves, a manager or another staff member shoves a group together.

"Now," Chan laughed, "I can tell you're all confused, so here to explain I have Mister JYP himself, Park Jinyoung!" Chan stepped out of the way of the door and in walked Mr. Park. We all froze from sheer terror. We had seen him before in order for us to be in his company, but seeing him never gets easier.

"Hello." He said, polite. We all repeated him like a tucan.

"Hello!"

"So, as Chan said, I'm explaining the idea of you nine debuting together. Chan came to me with the idea for what he called 'the perfect team'. Each of you were on there for specific reasons. He has been training for seven years, so I took what he said into my thoughts. I truly think Chan would want to make this company successful, and I also think his way of doing so would be by debuting a group he calls perfect." All eyes were on JYP as he spoke, taking in everything he said. To us at the time, we thought he meant he was letting us debut without any second meaning, without a catch. But we were very wrong.

"Now, this does not mean I believe this group it perfect. Which is I made a compromise with Chan." He continues, and all of our hearts dropped simultaneously. We all knew what this would mean, as we had seen this happen with other groups in the company, like Twice.

"I want you all to go through a survival reality show together. Not a normal one, but a show where the goal is to not lose any members, debut as a whole set of nine." Mr. Park continued, and we all listened. 

He explained to us that we would be going through a reality show together later in the year, in about October. He also asked us to learn to work together before the show and write a single to put out to draw potential watchers in. Mister Park asked if anyone wasn't fond of the idea, and nobody raised their hand. 

Personally, the deal sounded like a good idea to me. I would finally be able to debut as long as I proved I could work with the team, and contribute something the others couldn't. I was positive I could. The meeting ended with Mr. Park wishing us luck and phone numbers being exchanged between all nine of us. When Jisung gave me his number, I felt a small pang of happiness embed into my heart. I couldn't explain it, but it just made me happy.

The time passed and as group met more, I learned more about the other members. I also learned a lot about Felix and his reasons for coming to Korea to be a singer. He could dance, he could rap, and he could sing. I also learned that his voice is scarily deep, which makes for perfect sound effects.

I also learned a lot about Jisung. He absolutely loves some American singer named Brendan Urie and all of his songs give him life. Jisung hates being slow, and doesn't know how to be calm, and he seriously can hit high notes. 

The group eventually had a shell of a song, which the lyrics being written by Jisung, Chan and Changbin-who apparently call themselves "3racha- and we each divided up the parts. We called the song "Hellevator" and we made choreography for said song that showed off what we could do without being too showy.

We practiced with said song doing the choreo and making sure we could sing live before the show woukd be filmed. It was hard work, but looking back now it was worth it.

The song was dropped on JYP's youtube channel, and any person who even remotely knows of our group can tell you what happened next. The survival show was filmed, and I got knocked out in episode four. Even though I tried my hardest, even though I poured my heart and soul into everything I had, I still messed up. 

I barley got to show what I could do, and every time I tried to prove myself, my part was changed and I would immediately have to fix it. The day I was eliminated, I was told to try rapping a part that wasn't originally mine. I was so nervous, so terrified, I didn't know what to do. I started to panic. All I remember is Jisung taking my hand, and helping me stay in time. I know that it wasn't much, but for some reason it made me feel... something.

When they announced I was eliminated, Jisung was the first one to walk over to me. I tried so hard to keep it together. I felt like I let everyone down, especially him. We didn't say anything to each other. We couldn't. It felt like we had a bond different than the others, and by me letting myself ruin everything I broke that bond. 

When the others came to me that night, crying, he walked away, scared to show me his tears. I did the same thing, faking a smile to keep my emotions from taking over myself once more.

When we finished filming that day, everyone tried to talk to me. I pushed myself away, telling them they should move on from me, that continuing to talk to me would worsen their chances at surviving. They would always tell me was wrong, that what I was saying wasn't true. They would all tell me I didn't deserve it, but I never listened. I went straight back to practicing by myself, ignoring texts and such from all members. 

The next time the members filmed, I shut myself in a practice room, refusing to let myself sleep. I hadn't responded to any member in around three days, attempting to distance myself. It was always hard to keep from talking to any member, but one in particular was painful to excommunicate myself from. Jisung.

He texted me the most out of all of them, texting me, asking me to respond to him, and if not him, any member. He wanted to make sure I was okay, that I wasn't hurting too much from my elimination. And while the elimination hurt, a lot, it was nothing close to the pain of knowing Jisung and I couldn't be close anymore. I thought that sooner or later he would give up on me, and move onto greater things with the other members, but he never did. None of them ever did.

The night of the next filming, I did the same thing. I stayed up, dancing, practicing until I literally passed out. As I fell to the ground, I thought of my friends and how badly I was treating them. My phone was blown up with over three hundred messages, asking if I was okay, and I hadn't answered a single one. 

When I woke up, someone was hugging me, crying. I moved slightly, and the person pulled back. It was Jisung. 

"Min-Minho?" Jisung studdered, talking through heavy sobs. I sat up, and hugged him like he hugged me.

"I am so sorry." I whispered, tears starting to form into the corners of my own eyes. Jisung's sobs heaved his chest, and they lasted for several minutes. Seeing and hearing him cry broke my heart into pieces. I didn't understand why at the time, but all I knew was that Jisung didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated him, he didn't deserve to be this hurt. My own tears ran down my face and onto his shirt.

"Don't-don't do that again" Jisung continued, his sobs becoming more mundane. Eventually, his crying stopped. We just sat on the floor, hugging. Even though I felt like crap, just holding onto him made me really happy.

"I won't. I won't I promise." I sqeezed Jisung, hoping to get my sincerity across to him. Eventually, Jisung pulled back from me.

"Minho, I think I need to tell you something." His face was suprisingly serious. The tears in his eyes stayed put for a moment, leaving only the stains as reminders of what had just happened. I nodded my head, reaching out to wipe his tears off his face. Jisung took a big breath

"I know this is weird, but please, listen to me. I can't explain it, I can't even name what I'm feeling." I grabbed Jisung's hand in one of my own, and lifted his chin with my other hand.

"Don't worry. It'll be okay, trust me." I tried to reassure him, my brain putting pinpricks of hope into me. I didn't understand why I felt said hope, but I knew it was for a good reason.

"I-I feel... so happy when I'm with you. My heart feels this insane feeling I've never felt before whenever we talk, and I don't know why. When you stopped talking to me, I felt like something inside of me was tearing apart. I don't know what this is... but I do know I can't stand you leaving me again." Jisung stumbled through his words, rambling. He tried to avoid my eyes, scared of my reaction to what he said. I grabbed his arm, trying to bring him back to my eyes. 

"I know what you mean. I really do. I feel the same thing you do all the time, even now. I don't know what it is either. Pulling myself away from the team was hard, but it really hurt to keep myself from you. I..." I felt tears roll down my face once again, bringing back the pain of not talking to the members, my only friends in the company.

"Hey." Jisung took is hand and lightly tapped the tears off my face. His hand lingered on my cheek, and I looked at him. "Just don't pull away again. Stay with us. We can fight to get you back. The other guys have already started a plan to get you back on the team, we just have to get JYP in on it. The hate the company is getting because they eliminated you is insane, and we hope to put that to our advantage." Jisung smiled, which made me smile as well.

"Really? You guys want me back that badly?" I asked in disbelief. Jisung nodded, pulling me into a hug.

"It's more than us just wanting to get you back. We're a family, all of us together. We need you back. I need you back." Jisung whispered into my ear. I wrapped my arms around him.

"I'll try to come back. I won't push myself away anymore" 

\-----

After that night, I really worked towards rejoining the team. I started talking to the members again, and they welcomed me back with open arms. When Jisung said they were trying to get me back, he meant it. The next time we all hung out together, they told me their full plan, and it was a good one.

When I was eliminated, everyone began attacking JYP in every way they could. The show's ratings dropped, fans of JYP stopped buying albums, and the actual stocks of the company dropped. The members believe that if they can explain this to Mr. Park, I might be allowed back in the show in some redemption plan.

We continued to practice together even though managers told us not to. The boys wouldn't listen, telling them that I was family and I deserved to be with them. Every time someone had tried to pull us apart, the boys and I would bring ourselves together more. I truly felt like I belonged.

A couple more weeks went by, and the boys had filmed four more episodes since I was eliminated. Over the course of said weeks I had dwelved deep into my head, trying to figure out what my thing with Jisung was. I searched long and hard, trying to figure out what it was with next to no result for a long time. Was it friendship? No, I was friends with all the other members and I never felt anything like that for any of them.

At one point, I decided to take my searching to Google. In retrospect, it was a stupid idea, but it helped me a lot. I opened up a search bar on my phone and typed "Why do I feel weird while talking to a friend?". A stupid thing to ask anyone, especially google.

The first things to come up were articles on falling in love with a friend, but I knew that wasn't it. Jisung was a boy. In my head, I didn't like boys. At that time, I had no idea how wrong I was, but I still thought that.

I typed something else into the search bar. "Why do I feel things while talking to someone the same gender as me?". More articles popped up. They all talked about feeling things like what I felt being connected to romance. Do you have an overwhelming feeling of happiness for what seems like no reason when you talk to a person? If so, that probably means you're in love.

I didn't believe what I was reading at first, refusing to take it as truth, even though I lookes through multiple articles that all told me the same thing. I had romantic feelings for Jisung.

I spent about two entire hours just trying to see if what I was reading could even be possibly true in my case, attempting to prove what was true wrong. Once I was effectively educated and saw nothing to help my case, I gave in with what I know for certain now. I was hopelessly in love in Han Jisung, another boy. And I accepted that.  
\-----

On the day of the fourth filming since I was eliminated, the eighth episode overall, I had talked to Jisung almost all day. We both decided to stay up the night before he had to film. We thought that instead of us staying in seperate rooms, where we'd be staying up anyways, to hang out in one room until we fell asleep. I went to the member's dorm, where all the boys were happy to have me.

We stayed up until around three in the morning, talking about anything and everything until we both were tired.

"Minho" Jisung had said, becoming serious unlike how he had been all night, "I need to tell you something." I sat up and looked into his eyes, my heart beginning to beat irradically. What was he about to say? Te last time he told me that, he said he had some unexplainabke feelings for me-which I hoped were caused by the same reasons mine were.

I came up with multiple ways our next conversation could go. One path-the one I was hoping for- was that he would confess to me right there and tell me he loved me. To which, I would tell him I loved him too and we would begin dating immediantly. But that wasn't what happened.

"I think I know how to get Mr. Park to meet with us finally." He stated, just as serious. My heart fell, the words I wanted not coming out of his mouth.

"How?" I asked, invested, but not fully.

"Well, we just need to tell him that the team needs an amazingly adorable dancer like you to be successful and he'd totally agree." Jisung's face breaks into a smile, and he laughs. I blink and let out a dissapointed sigh.

"And for once I was hoping you were serious." I mumbled. And then what he said struck me over the head. "Wait, did you just call me adorable?" I paniced, not knowing what to make of what he said.

"Well, yeah, I really think you're adorable, but you don't-umm...I'm sorry...I...uhh..." Jisung joined me in my panic, not knowing if I was okay with what he said.

"It's okay, I just umm, was confused for a second?" I tried to assure him it was okay with little to no success. The boy in front of me ran his hands through his hair, clearly stressed with what he said.

"On second thought, just forget I said anything," He laughed awkwardly, "I just made a mess of our wonderful conversation." I faked a laugh, not wanting to make anything worse. Inside, I was really hoping that he was serious.

The night continued on without any other awkwardness. Eventually, Jisung fell asleep while we were listening to music. Which was great, but he fell asleep on top of me. On my stomach. Which made me twenty times more careful when moving, which made me twenty times slower while moving.

Oh boy, was my life fun at that point.

The next day, when Jisung woke up, he gave me a hug and told me he had to leave for filming. Which I knew, so I wasn't that sad about. I left the member's dorms and went to the JYP building to practice, expecting nothing wrong.  
\-----

Seven hours later, I got a phone call from Jisung. It happened again. Felix was eliminated. 

My first thoughts were "How and why", and I wasn't sure what to do. I asked Jisung if Felix was okay.

"Well..." Jisung hiccuped, he had clearly been crying, "He's fine, and I don't think he'll stop talking to us, but I think he's going to push himself really hard the next few days". I feel guilt once again, knowing well what it feels like to go through what Felix just did. It hurts, a lot.

"I guess this also means we're trying to bring Felix back too now, huh?" I ask.

"Definantly."  
\-----

The next day, we all met in a meeting room. We had posters and papers strewn across the table, littered with statistics on how the company compared before and after the eliminations. Looking at all the facts, Mr. Park's two decisions to let us go not only messed with the survival show's ratings, but dropped the company's stocks by three and a half points.

We had built a fairly strong case, one that we believed we could win. To us, it seemed like a no-brainer. Put Felix and I back in the group and not only will you make the members happy, but you would fix a majority of the problems created by letting us go in the first place.

Chan had set up a meeting with not only Mr. Park, but a slew of executives and other big names in the company. We would have to convince every single person in that room to let Felix and I back on the team. It was a tough task, but we believed we could do it.

We sat in the meeting room for thirty minutes before the board came in the room, making final decisions on who would present what. Felix and I would open our presentation, and the other boys would finish it.

About ten minutes til time to present, Jisung walked beside me and gave me a hug. I returned the hug, relishing the embrace. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Woojin nudge Chsn and point at us, both of them smiling as they watched us hug. I stuck my tongue out at them, turning my attention back to Jisung when he pulled back.

"Are you ready?" He asked, both excitement and determination coursing through his voice. I nodded.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I chuckled, making Jisung giggle as well.

"Good. We'll get both you and Felix back on the team." Jisung stated confidently. I nodded.

A knock echoed from the door, and we all turned to look at it. The door swung open, and Park Jinyoung along with the board of executives walked in. We, the members, all stiffened and straightened up, wanting to show that we were sophisticated in a way.

"Hello, boys." Mr. Park said. We all bowed and said hello back. "It seems as though you have a proposal for us." He continued, amused chuckles coming from the board as they look at our many posters of information.

"Yes, we do." Chan replied, smiling. The board all settled down in their seats, and gave their full attention to us. Mr. Park nodded.

"You have the floor."

Chan nodded, and looked at Felix, who was beside me. Felix cleared his throat.

"We would like to explain why you should allow both Minho and I back onto the team. It would not only benifit us, but it would benifit the entire company." Felix spoke crisply, not studdering at all.

"By allowing us back onto the team, you would raise the company's stocks, sell more albums, and bring more listeners and buyers of the JYP albums." I continued, stating our inital claim. The board all looked invested in our presentation. Which makes sense, because we just told them we could get them more money in such a simple way.

"Yes, as we all know, JYP Entertainment's stocks have dropped five and three fourths points in the past month and a half, an anomaly we believe was caused due to the fact shareholders were displeased with Felix and Minho being cut from the group." Seungmin pointed to a graph behind him, and continued speaking. "By bringing back the eliminated members, we think the company could regain at least five of those points."

"Where do you get the idea of regaining five points from?" One of the board members asked, eyebrows raised.

"By studying the company's stock two months prior to the show being aired, we can tell the stock value grew nine and seven eights points. By using the stock loss in a set of proportions and some general economics, we came up with the five points." Hyunjin explained, pointing to the poster that was set up behind him. The board member who spoke up nodded, and Woojin continued the presentation.

"We all also know that JYP has been receiving a lot of hate over the past month and a half, on all platforms. Many hateful tweets discussing how they cannot and will not continue to support a company who eliminates player for, and I quote, 'no reason'" Woojin reads off of a selection of tweets, all of them showing distaste for JYP due to the eliminations.

"If Felix and Minho are added back, these tweets will stop being made, and a majority of the hate JYP is getting currently will go away as well." Jeongin spoke clearly, enunciating each syllable. The board all looked at him, truly taking in what he was saying. 

"I understand what you've said so far," another board member speaks up, "But how will bringing back Felix and Minho get us more listeners?"

"Or bring us more album sales?" Yet another board member asks.

"Well, if we look at the amount of monthly listeners various JYP artists got during the months before and after our show was announced, we can see that the number increaced for each artist quite a bit, at about ten thousand monthly listeners per group." Changbin grabs the chart showing the monthly listeners. "And when Minho, the first member to be eliminated, was eliminated, the monthly listeners dropped another significant amount. About three to four thousand, depending on the artist."

The board members looked at each other in shock, as if they didn't know the information we told them. And they probably didn't, because they have more important things to go than observe spotify statistics.

"And about gaining more album sales, the same principal applies," Jisung speaks up from beside me. "Last year, Day6 sold 67,896 albums in a two month period. The two months after we were announced, Day6 sold 83,120 albums. The group also only had two E.P's produced in between the 9 months those statistics were taken."

The board members looked at us, impressed looks adorning their faces. The room was silent. We had finished our presentation, and we were just waiting on on our response.

"Well." Mr. Park started, "before I continue, I would like to say you nine sure do make an amazing presentation. I'll remember to get you all if I need to persuade anyone of anything." The room filled with laughs once again, smiles plastered across all nine of our faces.

"Does anyone have any more questions or objections to make before I make my final judgement?" Mr. Park asked the board, looking at all of them. None of them said anything, instead they all shook their heads no. Mr. Park nodded. "In that case, I agree with you all. I think that bringing Minho and Felix back into the group would certainly improve a lot for our company. The only problem I have is that I can't let them come back into your team without proving themselves. Therefore, we need to come up with a compromise on how they can come back into the show."

Jisung grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked at him, and he was smiling, tears welling up in his eyes. I squeezed his hand back, and his smile grew wider.

"Well, we have an idea." Chan spoke up, bringing all attention to him. Mr. Park leaned back, listening to what Chan had to say. "We think that it would be fair for both of us if you had a sort of 'redemption show'. Where you allow the two of them to join once again as long as they pass the test you set." 

"Well..." Mr. Park sat back up, "I think we have a deal then." He smiled, and the room broke into smiles. Even the board members looked happy.

"The next time you all film an episode, I will bring Minho and Felix to you. Just act like you're suprised to see them, okay?" Mr. Park laughed. The board all stood up and trailed out of the room, leaving only the nine of us and Mr. Park. He stood up as well, smiling.

"Congratulations, boys." He said, and then left the room. 

Once he left and the door closed, the room exploded into laughter and tears of happiness. Jisung pulled me into a seriously long hug, squeezing me to the point I thought I would turn into a pulp.

"You made it!" He cheered, resting his head on my shoulder.

"No, we made it." I whispered, squeezing him.  
\-----

The day came, the day Felix and I would appear on the show again. It was just the next week, as we knew the show would only have ten episodes. Everyone knew we would be walking back into the room, but going in the room felt genuine, like they really didn't think we would be back.

Mr. Park told us what our 'redemption mission' was. We would have have to preform all the songs with all the members in a big final stage together. It was a tough mission, but if it meant I could stay with my team, I was all for it. 

We would be preforming all of our three-to-a-team missions with all nine of us, which meant we would need to distribute some lines differently and whatnot. Eventually, we had gotten the lines and set list figured out, and all that was left was to learn the choreography, which was easy for me because duh, I'm Minho.

We practiced for hours at a time together, skipping meals and not sleeping just so we were sure we would debut together as nine. It was a really stressful time, probably the most stressful week in my life, but it all worked out in the end.

Yes, when we preformed together for the final time, it was simply perfect. There was no way we wouldn't debut together, and when Mr. Park announced we would debut as nine instead of seven, I was finally, for the first time in my life, positive of what I was about to experience. I would debut with my eight best friends.  
\-----

When we came off stage and went back home, we did nothing but cheer and scream out of happiness. We ate all together in the living room, and then seperated into seperate rooms to sleep. Jisung and I went to his room and stayed up talking instead of sleeping. 

"So you mean to tell me that you have seven of that exact shirt?" I laughed, Jisung explaining to me his obsession with "Fear Of God" t-shirts. I found it hilarious.

"I sure do." He giggled, and layed down on the bed. The room was quiet for a while, and he eventually pulled me down on top of him. We layed on the bed, hugging-cuddling, really-and said nothing. We just listened to the sound of each other's breathing. I thought Jisung had fell asleep on me again, but he spoke up before I could check.

"Minho?" He whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something?" He whispered again, sounding a little scared.

"Of course you can." I squeezed his waist, something we did while hugging to try to calm each other down. Jisung pulled away and say up. I did the same, and sat up on the bed.

At that time, I was worried. What if he knew I liked him? What if he found out and wasn't okay with it? What would he say to me?

"Do you remember a while ago, when we both said we had some kind of weird feeling for each other we couldn't explain?" He mumbled, clesrly scared. I nodded my head, even more scared for myself. It really sounded like he knew my feelings.

"Well... I think I found out what my feelings were. And I understand if you won't want want to talk to me anymore, but I just need to get this out." Jisung took a deep breath. "I think I like you. In a not friend way. In a romantic way."

I gasped, and Jisung looked at me, a tear falling down his cheek.

"I know you probaby don't understand or accept my feelings. And I can't say sorry, because I'm not sorry. I can't control how I feel about you. It's a-" I made him stop talking by pulling him into a hug. I made the decision to confess as well, because really, it was the perfect opportunity.

"I like you too. I've known for a little while, but I didn't know how to tell you."

Jisung make a squeaky sob noise, and I knew he had reached level seven happy Jisung. I tried to pull back, but Jisung caged me in.

"Don't. You're not allowed to even try to get away from me anymore." He mumbled, his body going limp in my arms.

"Happily."  
\-----

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't posted at all recently, but Imma fix that.
> 
> Cross posted on amino.


End file.
